My friend Dave

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Some Disassembly Required

I know how to prove that men and women are fundamentally different: Put a man and a woman into separate rooms alone with a new appliance—say, a bread machine—and watch what happens. The woman will make some bread. On the other hand—bear in mind that this is a brand new appliance, right out of the box—the man will take the bread machine apart to see how it works. I’m not sure what drives men to takeRead More

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Tags: My friend Dave, My friend George

If you experience an erection lasting more than 4 hours, congratulations! Do not autoclave. Keep away from open flame. May cause hunger pangs and excessive salivation. Light fuse and get away.

Wash hands. Push button. Rub hands together under warm air.

Do not insert into penis. You must be this tall ↑ to enter the ride. Driver does not carry cash. This product has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.

Safety goggles and HazMat suit recommended. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. Do not fold, staple, spindle or mutilate.

Keep out of reach on children. Suffocation risk. Do not wash hair or clothing in the toilet. No shirt, no shoes, no problem. May cause drowsiness. Alcohol may intensify the fun.

Never work with a forklift driver named Klaus. Not intended for highway use. Stunt driver on closed course. Do not attempt. Don't forget to feed your Trunk Monkey. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.

Avoid California: Everything in California causes cancer.

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Spelling and grammer and all that stuff--supposibly its like, real important!

My friend Dave

now browsing by tag

Some Disassembly Required