If You Give Your Wife a Peppermint Plant…
If you surprise Your Best Half with a potted peppermint plant, she’ll want to move it to a permanent pot.
Since it’s 100+ outside, she’ll do it in the kitchen.
To move the potted peppermint plant to a permanent pot, she’ll have to remove it from the disposable pot.
When she removes the potted peppermint plant from the disposable pot, a handful of pea gravel neither of you expected will fall in the sink.
When the handful of pea gravel neither of you expected falls in the sink, most of it will end up in the garbage disposal.
If there’s a handful of pea gravel in the garbage disposal, you’ll have to stick your hand in to fish it out.
When you stick your hand in the disposal, you’ll discover your hand is too big and you can’t reach any of the gravel.
If you can’t reach any of the gravel, you have to remove the disposal to get the gravel out.
When you remove the disposal you’ll have to turn it upside down and shake the gravel out.
When the gravel is removed from the disposal you need to hold it up and turn the metal retaining ring thingy to reattach it.
When you try to turn the metal retaining ring thingy to reattach the disposal, you discover it’s impossible to line up the retaining ring when you can’t see both sides of it.
To see both sides of the metal retaining ring thingy you have to lie on your back with your head and shoulders inside the cabinet.
To get your head and shoulders inside the cabinet you have to remove the drainpipe, P‑trap, dishwasher hose and disposal drainpipe.
When you crawl into the cabinet you get runoff water soaked into your shirt and hair and a faceful of the revolting goop that builds up inside drains and disposals.
When you finish cleaning up and put everything away, Your Best Half will apologize for all the mess.
When Your Best Half apologizes for all the mess, you tell her you didn’t expect the temporary pot to be half full of gravel either, and it was no big deal.
So: Don’t give Your—wait, I mean, DO give Your Best Half an unexpected gift. If you make Your Best Half’s day, who cares if you have to clean up a mess?