Words in a Row

Spelling and grammer and all that stuff--supposibly its like, real important!

If You Give Your Wife a Peppermint Plant…

If you sur­prise Your Best Half with a pot­ted pep­per­mint plant, she’ll want to move it to a per­ma­nent pot.

Since it’s 100+ out­side, she’ll do it in the kitchen.

To move the pot­ted pep­per­mint plant to a per­ma­nent pot, she’ll have to remove it from the dis­pos­able pot.

When she removes the pot­ted pep­per­mint plant from the dis­pos­able pot, a hand­ful of pea grav­el nei­ther of you expect­ed will fall in the sink.

When the hand­ful of pea grav­el nei­ther of you expect­ed falls in the sink, most of it will end up in the garbage disposal.

If there’s a hand­ful of pea grav­el in the garbage dis­pos­al, you’ll have to stick your hand in to fish it out.

When you stick your hand in the dis­pos­al, you’ll dis­cov­er your hand is too big and you can’t reach any of the gravel.

If you can’t reach any of the grav­el, you have to remove the dis­pos­al to get the grav­el out.

When you remove the dis­pos­al you’ll have to turn it upside down and shake the grav­el out.

When the grav­el is removed from the dis­pos­al you need to hold it up and turn the met­al retain­ing ring thingy to reat­tach it.

When you try to turn the met­al retain­ing ring thingy to reat­tach the dis­pos­al, you dis­cov­er it’s impos­si­ble to line up the retain­ing ring when you can’t see both sides of it.

To see both sides of the met­al retain­ing ring thingy you have to lie on your back with your head and shoul­ders inside the cabinet.

To get your head and shoul­ders inside the cab­i­net you have to remove the drain­pipe, P‑trap, dish­wash­er hose and dis­pos­al drainpipe.

When you crawl into the cab­i­net you get runoff water soaked into your shirt and hair and a face­ful of the revolt­ing goop that builds up inside drains and disposals.

When you fin­ish clean­ing up and put every­thing away, Your Best Half will apol­o­gize for all the mess.

When Your Best Half apol­o­gizes for all the mess, you tell her you didn’t expect the tem­po­rary pot to be half full of grav­el either, and it was no big deal.

So: Don’t give Your—wait, I mean, DO give Your Best Half an unex­pect­ed gift. If you make Your Best Half’s day, who cares if you have to clean up a mess?

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