Children of the Sun
It’s been at least 35 years since I thought of this song. If you were in high school in the late ’70s, you’ll probably shriek in horror and outrage just from seeing the title and artist: “Children of the Sun” by Billy Thorpe.
If, like me, you bought the album, you no doubt remember Thorpe and the rest of band looked mighty weird, even by ’70s standards:
In addition to the requisite vaguely erotic nude airbrushed chrome hood ornament thingy on the cover, you also had to have a photo of the band doing anything except smiling. Smiling was right out.
This photo is further enweirdened by the guy on the left putting on part of a three-piece suit and then forgetting what he was doing, the guy in the middle staring at the camera while looking like an Amish child molester, and Bill Thorpe over on the right looking like he can’t stand the sight of the other two.
If you’re under 30 and wondering why I bought a whole album just to get one song, lemme ‘splain:
In those dark prehistoric times, an awful lot of artists got rich selling albums with one, maybe two, hit songs, plus six or seven sonic abortions they threw together in 20 minutes or so, knowing if you were serious about your music sounding better than an old AM radio with a blown speaker, you’d pay $9 to get just the one or two hits.
Things have really changed.
Nowadays artists write one okayish “meh” type of song, put it on YouTube, go do a bunch of blow with Kanye West or Kei$ha or those are the only current artists I can name; then you can throw together an okayish “meh” video and 73 alternate versions and a video documentary about you writing the song and karaoke versions and then do a half season of “America’s Got Attention Whores” and by then you’re pretty much set for life.
Anyway, Thorpe looks even weirder on video than he did in photos. Plus he’s playing a Les Paul strapped up almost to his chin, so it looks like cross between a violin and a mandolin.
If you’re really brave, or you’re crazy, or your gag reflex doesn’t work, you can watch the video. It’s right down there. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.